Talanoa: The Hardships Aren't Always Dramatic

Values and assumptions are a daily battle for me in the Peace Corps. When things I believe strongly in or against such as Domestic Abuse, Basic Education as a priority, Kindness for animals are challenged it is difficult to know the balance of "this is another culture and that is okay", and "this is why I am here..to share my education, experiences and knowledge." Because after all we only do better when we know better..But with every value I have to say to myself "is my way better?" Such as the concept of 'kerekere' (Fijians amazing culture of sharing..there will be a post talking about this more in the future), parenting styles and medicine.

"The real sacrifice you make in the Peace Corps is in the form of tremendous daily and hourly effort required to speak in another language and be effective in another culture, the constant struggle to be self-aware and sensitive. You don't give up one-hour dry cleaning; you give up being relaxed" (A Few Minor Adjustments, 1997, p.29)

While I certainly never used dry cleaning in the US, the idea is right on. Yes, mice, rats and centipedes are battled daily. Yes, my shower is freezing cold, always. Yes, when it rains hard water drips on my head as I sleep. Yes, I hand wash any and everything that needs washing. No, I do not have a fridge. No, I do not have a TV. No, I do not have a computer or unlimited internet. No, I do not have Air Con. But these are the easy adjustments. These are the adjustments we envision when we sign up for the Peace Corps.

Language is a barrier that is so real. Most everyone is knowledgeable in English and I am learning more Fijian every day but the reality is that unless someone needs something from me they aren't going to speak English. In meetings and social situations Fijian is spoken. While I can pick up words and attempt to piece them together, I've learned the hard way it is best to just ask someone to translate afterwards.

...in the first village youth meeting I attended I listened attentively. I heard the words such as "toa" (chicken), Break-Up Party (end of the year party) and Pacific Harbour (resort strip by the beach) and so I put together we were going to take a trip to the beach and have chicken dinner to celebrate! Great! How fun! So excited! I asked someone after the meeting what all was discussed and I was told ONE youth was going to Pacific Harbour for an art camp. There was a party next month in the village. And if you paid $10 for a raffle ticket you might be able to win a live chicken....

It is difficult to be an active participant in any meeting or to engage in the conversation and jokes in social situations when Fijian is being spoken. I can't even attend church and have a clue so I day dream and sing songs.

In social situations, I laugh when they laugh (probably about me sometimes) and I often get lost in my day dreams about what I'll eat next time I am in the city or what lesson I will teach to the kids in their class. With a language barrier comes a barrier to most things..respect from students, work in the village and local friendships. I am being tutored 1-3 times a week and am most definitely making progress but I am guessing it'll be about my 27th month before I feel remotely adequate. 

To never know what is going on carries an immense amount of anxiety. Letting go and going with the flow are ideal and I have become quite skilled with this. But by no means have I mastered this skill. I will wake up some days to a wedding in the village (who knew..not me) or I will show up at school to realize they switched the schedule and I do not have any classes that day...or I have 3 extra classes that day. Sometimes I will show up to a grog drinking session thinking it is a purely social situation come to realize it is a meeting and at the end I am asked "what do you think Melissa" (uhhhh no idea what yall have said in fijian the last hour...).

Stay tuned for the next story on what making friends has been like for me...

Above: This is Joe, another volunteer at my school, from England. On the day the New Zealand Prime Minister we had no idea what was going on and no one accepted our help. So we walked around aimlessly taking pictures and doing important jobs such as blowing up balloons.

Above: One of the 6 large, biting centipedes I have killed in my house

Above: This is New Years Eve. Big parties are the best...because there is no need to understand what is going on. Ya just gotta be up for singing, dancing and drinking. And on New Years..okay with water being splashed on you

Talanoa: Culture Shock

It is November 9th, 2015. I have now left the host village and been dropped with my two suitcases, foam bed and gas stove to my new home of Dakuivuna Village. By dropped, I mean quite literally, dropped off and left in my empty single room house. My amazing, supportive and loving host mom, Matilita, followed me to my new village and stayed with me for a few hours helping me to clean, organize and meet my neighbors.

Up until November, my adjustment into Fiji was what I expected...new and different but manageable and enjoyable. I believe adjustment into a new culture inevitably begins with culture shock. The simple definition of Culture Shock, from Merriam-Webster Dictionary is: "a feeling of confusion, doubt, or nervousness caused by being in a place (such as a foreign country) that is very different from what you are used to". For me, the brunt of this shock took place my first two months in my new village. Culture shock is no new feeling to me. I have lived in another country before, and I have lived in parts of the United States so different from what I knew that I experienced culture shock there as well. I am good at observing other cultures in order to learn how to predict their behavior-which is the first part of adjustment. In the host village and then in my new village, I said "yes" to any and everything to allow me to observe, identify and predict host country behavior. However, what I hadn't prepared for was the high expectations of my new home. They weren't paid for me to come. They had to provide me with housing at their own expense. They weren't told I would be making many mistakes. They were told I had been in training for the last two months learning the language and culture. They weren't provided a training on what Peace Corps is or what (United States) Americans are like. They were told all of the wonderful possibilities and opportunities I would be bringing to their community. I quickly became overwhelmed by these new expectations. I could predict the behavior, but I was having a hard time accepting this behavior.

3 Parts of Adjustment, according to A Few Minor Adjustments:

• Predicting host country behavior
• Accepting host country behavior
• Changing your own behavior 

And so my adjustment journey was interrupted for further discovery at acceptance. This was a step that was going to take some time. I first needed to identify what I was bringing with me...the "baggage" I was bringing from my own culture. 

Steps to Cultural Understanding and Acceptance, according to A Few Minor Adjustments:
1. An awareness of your own cultural assumptions and values
2. Acceptance of the reality of your own cultural conditioning
3. Acceptance of the reality of the cultural conditioning of others

I thought this would be easy. I see myself as a painfully self-aware person. I have been blessed with many years filled with many choices followed by a lot of reflection and self-discovery. But the reality is "...people who live in a particular culture, who manifest it in their everyday actions are the least likely to be aware of it. This is because you express your culture naturally, unconsciously, without thinking about it" (A Few Minor Adjustments, 1997, p. 37). The village in Fiji has many rules and beliefs that (United States) Americans break and go against naturally almost instinctively. In the village women cannot wear pants (or shorts), you cannot wear hats or sunglasses, you must say "bogi" before entering a home at night, you must not sweep or do laundry at night, if someone asks for one you give them five, if someone borrows something it will not be returned, and the list is endless. Most of these rules and beliefs are easy to accept and adopt. But there are some that go against everything (United States) American. Sometimes, it is "not until you leave your own country that you start to examine or articulate these values and assumptions" (A Few Minor Adjustments, 1997, p. 37).

So what did I discover? What are the (United States) American values and assumptions that I didn't even know I held?

Please stay tuned for the next chapter.

Above: My little yellow house. Tin roof, concrete walls and floor

Above: My host mom, Matilita (in the green/brown) and my new neighbors helping me set up my mosquito net 

Above: Bush training. Weeding at a neighbor's farm with my machete

Talanoa: Back to the Beginning

Today, I want to tell you a story. In Fiji story telling (Talanoa) is an important part of the culture. It is how information is passed from one generation to the next. What does it take to integrate into a community so different from what you have ever known?

Let's go back to the beginning...

Our first two months in Fiji we took part in our pre-service training (PST). In Fiji this includes living with a host family and spending Monday through Friday 8-5 with other volunteers learning about the work we are to do in Fiji (youth development), language development, and being taught about the vibrant, friendly Fijian culture. To learn more about my experiences in PST please Click Here. Many volunteers will say that PST was one of the most challenging things they have done in their service, but I have a different opinion of PST. I think we were blessed with low expectations and unconditional love...

Our host families were warned that we would be kind of boring from time to time. They were paid a fair sum to look after us. They were trained on what people from the United States are like-that we value privacy (something unknown in the Fijian culture). Our host families were instructed that we would be making many mistakes but these would be unintentional not meaning any sign of disrespect, and to please help us understand the "tabu" (not allowed-rules) of the village. A handbook written for volunteers titled A Few Minor Adjustments says it well, "...people know you're on a learning curve and will forgive you and make allowances for you." Needless to say, the host village held very low expectations for us. They were virtually told we were going to break all the rules. If we said something in Fijian they nearly bounced off the walls. If we scraped a coconut they had a smile a mile long. If we taught classes to their youth they were so ever grateful and made us tea. When we left the village they through an all night party for us.


So what happened next? What happened when we left the comfort and unconditional environment of our host villages and moved out on our own?

Please stay tuned for the next chapter. You can get posts sent to you by email simply by entering your email in the box in the upper right corner of this page. If you asked any questions in my last post please find my answers in The Question Box.

Above: One of the besties..my mentor-Laite-from my host village

Above: That time my host mom asked me to try a dress on (for the entire extended family waiting in the living area) and it got stuck...

Above: Going away buffet from host village

Above: Host mom teaching me how to scrape that coconut!

Fiji Times

Where do I even start. I am sorry it has been so long. It is really a good thing because I am finding myself much more occupied and less bored with time. Also, my computer keeps breaking and I hate typing on my phone. February flew by so incredibly fast. On February 15th Nina (my cousin) arrived in Fiji. It was a wonderful visit. We went to the beach, sand dunes, a small island, saw a bit of town life and spent a couple days in the village as well. 

Reasons Nina was a great visitor:

1. She was flexible when Fiji would happen. This was the week leading up to cyclone Winston and so we were always on our toes.

2. She asked the locals a lot of questions. They love having someone genuinly interested in their world!

3. She told stories. "talanoa" means to tell stories and it is what Fijians spend a lot of time doing-it's great. 

4. She brought them "American" lollipops aka Tootsiepops. It is important to have tasty chasers during grog sessions. They lovedddd the tootsiepops. 

5. She was patient in living the village life (eating other food, showering in cold water, taking buses everywhere, etc)

Now- everyone come to Fiji and be like Nina. 

In school I have a "question box" where students are encouraged to anonymously (or not) submit questions about anything that they would like me to answer. Fijian students are usually discouraged from speaking up or asking many questions and so my hope (and success) is to have them feel more comfortable in asking the questions I know they have about Family Life Education (sex, nutrition, lifeskills, feelings, hormones, puberty, relationships, college, gender identity, etc). I am doing the same with my blog. I have encouraged readers to submit questions in the comments section anonymously or not ;-} that I will try and answer. Here are some of the questions so far....

How many different Fijian dresses do you have?

I would say I have around 5 Fijian dresses and am always looking for more. I buy about 3 meters of the material and then pay someone in town or in the village to sew it for me. There is no such thing as patterns here so I just tell them what 'style' I want and hope it looks nice. My favorite style is butterfly-nice and cool and comfortable compared to the other styles.

What did you bring that you never need/use?

Honestly there isn't much I brought that hasn't been put to use. Almost everything I would want or need (besides a lot of processed food/cheese/some veggies, etc) can be found in Fiji but it is expensive (especially on a volunteer budget) or difficult to get (in the city). I wish I didn't bring extra batteries. They are easy to find and cheap. And most of the ones I brought dont work now anyways due to humidity, etc.

How is the gardening going?

It started off wonderfully. I planted 24 cucumbers and they were growing rapidly. They should take about 2-3 months in Fiji. However, at about week 7 of growing they were murdered when a neighboring garden full of rootcrops (cassava) was sprayed for bugs and the wind blew it over to my cukes :(. I still have tomato, zucchini, long bean, chives, basil and carrots I plan to plant when all this rain stops. 

What is you favorite type of fish?

I don't know what types I am eating. I can say tin fish is not my favorite.

Why do you think Fijians ask if my parents are dead/alive?

I think they ask this because life expectancy in Fiji is very short. I don't have the stats on hand but I would say to pass at 60 is not abnormal here, mainly to non-communicable diseases.

How often do you get to see other Peace Corps Volunteers?

I am lucky and in a position to see other volunteers really whenever I would like. One of my good friends lives in my town (15 minute bus ride away) and the main city (Suva) is less than 2 hours bus ride from me. I probably see someone every 2 weeks on average. 

How fluent in Fijian are you?

Ha. Hardly. It is really hard for me to learn another language...or more so speak it. It is definitely about my confidence. About a month ago I started with more formal tutoring lessons though and so that has helped. I learn best by visually seeing words. 

What is something Missy in the US wouldn't recognize about Missy in Fiji?

Hmm. Probably my coping ability to sleep with rats. I will have to think more on this one. Good question.

Okay so those are the questions I had. Please submit more! 

I feel like I have talked Cyclone Winston to death. But I will say a little bit. During the cyclone I was evacuated to one of the large cities (Nadi). It was nice to be looked after by the Peace Corps but at the same time I felt guilty and privileged. To have the ability to be evacuated. To have the ability to know ahead of time how bad the cyclone was going to be (radio, phone, internet access). To have the ability to leave my home because I am single, healthy and financially capable. To have the ability to be in a well built structure with plenty of food, friends, and a generator. Privilege is a tricky thing. It is so easy to be taken advantage of but it is so important to recognize that I was one of very few in Fiji (and in many ways in the world as a white middle class woman) who had this privilege. It was the longest 36 hours of my life before I made any contact with my village after Winston  left and it was a very short conversation to hear if everyone was safe and alive. It would be another 8 days before I spoke with anyone again as they had lost phone service and power. I cried that day. I had been somewhat numb before that, but on that day to just be able to hear someone's voice was a wonderful feeling of relief coupled with grief and guilt. "When are you coming back" I was asked...having to explain that I couldn't go back until it was deemed safe, for me. 

Okay, that is all for now. I have a lot more to say but I will look for your questions on what you want to hear. 

The contents of this Web Site are mine personally and do not reflect any position of the U.S. Government or the Peace Corps.

Above: Me with the Minister of Education when he came for an unexpected visit to the school after Winston.

Above: Me and one of the teachers. This is my favorite butterfly dress.

Above: Nina and Lepani at our waterfall

Me and Nina on a boat on our way to a small island

Cheers to 2016

Any questions you have, please post and I will answer in my next post! 

Fun fact: Coconut oil is my most frequently bought item that has now become my lotion, hair styler and i get to cook with it! No one else cooks withit here though, so they think am a weirdo.

I started teaching at the secondary (high) school this week. I will be teaching Family Life Education to years 11, 12 and 13. Some of my classes may have up to 50 students in them. Phew! Wish me luck! The year 13 students have a classroom pilot program that allows access to a computer and projector. I look forward ro being able to use that some and not always using the chalk board. The kids are used to being lectured here in Fiji so it is different for them to be asked to participate in other ways. But they are excited to learn and that is all I need to be excited to teach! I am also hopeful in getting soccer going at the school. Right now options for sports are rugby, netball, track and volleyball.

Projects my village hopes to accomplish:
**A primary (elementary) school library. They hope to build this in the village  (school is across the street) though to allow a broader access for villagers as well and so when students are on breaks from school they can still use it. They envision it eventually having a couple of computers with internet access.
**A poultry farm. I am a big fan of the income generating projects! This project takes much less to start up than most of the other projects as well.
**A church for the secondary (high) school. There are many students and teachers who board at the school. They have used a classroom for church and prayer services in the past but have never had a church of their own. It would be a Methodist Church.
**The village itself wants to expand their church. Not everyone can fit inside.
**A project about sewage has been mentioned..don't know many details on it.
**There are 4 clans in my village. One of the clans wants help advancing their farming. They have to walk 1 or 2 hours to their farming land and so they were hoping for something such as a carrier (large truck) to aid in their farming efforts.

My priorities are the first three projects listed. They are organized by the youth (ages 15-35) of the village. The pressure of projects is still there but I have a few people in my corner now who help me to explain my role and how Peace Corps does projects ro the villagers who still struggle in understanding. They have also helped give me the confidence to be more direct and honest and say "I don't know"...when in fact I don't know. I love that my village is so motivated and organized, but man oh man it is often overwhelming that they have such high expectations of me. I feel like I am sometimes a disappointment to them in that they were hoping and thinking someone would come and fully fund their projects and here I am ready to teach and practically an amateur at grant writing. At the end of my two years I should be able to put grant writing on my resume for sure though!

My updated care package list:

*Clif Z Bars (especially iced oatmeal cookie flavor)
*Coloring books-for kids or adults
*Quart (bigger sized) ziploc bags
*Tootsie Pops
*Chocolate
*Annie's Mac and Cheese (put in ziploc)
*Construction Paper
*Deck of Cards
*Any little toys, activities for little kids, old children's books, chalk, bubbles, etc. The kids in the village have zero toys. If I see one more kid play with a knife..
*Anything random. When it comes to food I miss just about everything.

Melissa Martin, PCV
Naiyala High School
P.O. Box 166
Korovou Town, Fiji Islands

The contents of this Web Site are mine personally and do not reflect any position of the U.S. Government or the Peace Corps.

This Is Fiji.

I have been living in my new home for just over a month now. School ended at Thanksgiving time (which no one has ever heard of here) and so I have had a lot of time.. Before coming to site I told myself I wanted to take things slowly when trying to integrate into my new community. Two years is a relatively long time and I want to be sure to take everything in before taking everything on. I quickly and surprisingly found myself overwhelmed by things I thought I was prepared for. I no longer had any other volunteers nearby to seek support or solidarity from. One of my biggest struggles the past month has been trying to explain to the people of Dakuivuna Village my role as a Peace Corps volunteer..and what the Peace Corps is. In this area of the country they get a lot of Australian volunteers. Most who come for a day, or a week and bring lots of goodies or complete a large project quickly for them. My village called these people Peace Corps volunteers. The village seemed to have missed the education assets I was able to bring to the community (teaching Family Life Ed classes, Lifeskills, HIV/AIDS, Family Planning, Drug Abuse/Awareness, Sexual Health, etc) and were zoned in on when/how I would complete all of my projects they had planned for me (build a sea wall, school library, school computer lab, school church, etc). And so the majority of my first month I felt a bit uncomfortable not knowing how to answer their questions because yes, projects are possible but there is a process to make projects happen in Peace Corps, and it certainly isn't what I am most excited about doing with my new community. I want to collaborate, educate and inspire. I want to share, experience and learn. But I was getting stuck in my internal half and found myself shying away from opportunities because I knew I was going to get quizzed about 'my projects'. Last week we were able to get some clarity to the village with the support of one of my supervisors. She is Fijian and so she was better able to explain the community my role. Every one speaks some level of English (British English) but there is still a large gap in understanding one another.
With all that said, things are on the upswing and I am becoming more comfortable in my community every day. Each day I make a small goal for myself...sometimes it is as simple as go to the neighbor's and learn all their names and ages. And hopefully as time goes on my goals will get bigger and better.

Alright so enough with all that jazz...here is a silly little list that former and current volunteers have made of "You Know You Are A PCV in Fiji When...." (not all are true to me, but to give a little insight into our lives as volunteers here in Fiji)

• You see 6 fairly large stains on your shirt and you think 'oh yeah, this shirt is still good'
• ants in your food=free protein
• a hot sunny day means laundry day
• you cover yourself in baby powder because you don't have enough water to shower with
• you choose dinner based off of what is about to rot/expire
• you decide not to sleep in because your neighbors start pounding grog at 7am
• you spend 20 minutes discussing with your neighbors what may have bit your arm the night before
• you're constantly brushing off bugs or poop
• you are constantly checking each pocket to make sure you didn't lose your bus ticket to and from town
• you haven't washed your hair in a week in hopes of not catching lice
• you've made enemies with the village roosters because they love crowing outside your window and your window alone
• you've been charged at by a goat
• your best friend in your village is your cat
• you've made a game of guessing how many frogs are in your bathroom when you go to pee in the middle of the night
• your feet are always dirty
• you are lolled to sleep by dog fights
• you use orange/lemon/lime as after shave
• you step in freshly made cow pie when trying to take down the laundry
• you bargain with the spider in your bathroom to not move until your bowels are evacuated and they surprisingly comply
• you've gotten real good at day dreaming and completely leaving reality in church
• you're not sure if you just agreed to marriage or dinner
• you don't have a kitchen or a sink so showering, washing the dishes and doing laundry has become one activity
• at first you don't understand how Fijian can sleep anywhere and everywhere and now you can fall sleep on the hardwood floor in the middle of a social gathering
• you experience more emotions in one day than a human is meant to experience in a lifetime
• you have at least one good poop story
• "never trust a fart"
• you've lost or gained 15 lbs, or both
• it is considered a successful day when you come home without visible sweat stains
• you're convinced you're going bald, have parasites or a skin disease, and sometime you do
• you never travel anywhere without toilet paper
• grocery shopping and doing laundry are considered day long chores
• you've started to name the cockroaches, rats, spiders and lizards that live in your home
• you treat every month like no-shave november
• you get excited when you order something with chicken and it doesn't have bones in it
• you eat the entire contents of your care package in one sitting
• you preach nutrition and then consume an entire sleeve of oreos after work
• you have spent more time in church than you have your entire life (and understood 1% of what was said)
• you gamble with death every time you ride public transportation
• most of the time, you have no clue what is going on.

The contents of this Web Site are mine personally and do not reflect any position of the U.S. Government or the Peace Corps.

Well. that was weird.

I have no clue how the majority of this post got deleted...but there's no way I can rewrite it since I don't remember what I babbled on about anyways. I will post again this week to make up for it!

As many of you know, last week we found out our site placements for the next two years. It was an emotional day for many. 28 of the 35 of us are placed primarily in secondary schools. A couple people are in offices working for the Ministry of Youth and a couple people are working for a sexual and reproductive health NGO. We are scattered throughout Fiji. A large number are on the second largest island in Fiji,  Vanua Levu. Several of us are on the main island, Viti Levu (including myself) and then there are several people on outer islands such as Kadavou and Taveuni.
I found out this week I passed my language test, thank goodness! I thought I did absolutely terrible. But I guess I did good enough. Now, I need to stay focused and continue to soak it in and practice. I am lucky because my site placement is so close that the dialect is going to be pretty much the same (Bau dialect) besides of course with their own slang and whatnot.
The last weeks, days and hours in the village were intense. After two months I felt as though I had started to find my niche and then it was time to go. I hope to stay close with the locals I can now call my friends, and my host family who has truly held me down through it all.

First three things I am asked when meeting a new person in Fiji:

1. How old are you?
2. Are your parents still alive?
3. What religion are you?

The contents of this Web Site are mine personally and do not reflect any position of the U.S. Government or the Peace Corps.