Talanoa: The Hardships Aren't Always Dramatic

Values and assumptions are a daily battle for me in the Peace Corps. When things I believe strongly in or against such as Domestic Abuse, Basic Education as a priority, Kindness for animals are challenged it is difficult to know the balance of "this is another culture and that is okay", and "this is why I am here..to share my education, experiences and knowledge." Because after all we only do better when we know better..But with every value I have to say to myself "is my way better?" Such as the concept of 'kerekere' (Fijians amazing culture of sharing..there will be a post talking about this more in the future), parenting styles and medicine.

"The real sacrifice you make in the Peace Corps is in the form of tremendous daily and hourly effort required to speak in another language and be effective in another culture, the constant struggle to be self-aware and sensitive. You don't give up one-hour dry cleaning; you give up being relaxed" (A Few Minor Adjustments, 1997, p.29)

While I certainly never used dry cleaning in the US, the idea is right on. Yes, mice, rats and centipedes are battled daily. Yes, my shower is freezing cold, always. Yes, when it rains hard water drips on my head as I sleep. Yes, I hand wash any and everything that needs washing. No, I do not have a fridge. No, I do not have a TV. No, I do not have a computer or unlimited internet. No, I do not have Air Con. But these are the easy adjustments. These are the adjustments we envision when we sign up for the Peace Corps.

Language is a barrier that is so real. Most everyone is knowledgeable in English and I am learning more Fijian every day but the reality is that unless someone needs something from me they aren't going to speak English. In meetings and social situations Fijian is spoken. While I can pick up words and attempt to piece them together, I've learned the hard way it is best to just ask someone to translate afterwards.

...in the first village youth meeting I attended I listened attentively. I heard the words such as "toa" (chicken), Break-Up Party (end of the year party) and Pacific Harbour (resort strip by the beach) and so I put together we were going to take a trip to the beach and have chicken dinner to celebrate! Great! How fun! So excited! I asked someone after the meeting what all was discussed and I was told ONE youth was going to Pacific Harbour for an art camp. There was a party next month in the village. And if you paid $10 for a raffle ticket you might be able to win a live chicken....

It is difficult to be an active participant in any meeting or to engage in the conversation and jokes in social situations when Fijian is being spoken. I can't even attend church and have a clue so I day dream and sing songs.

In social situations, I laugh when they laugh (probably about me sometimes) and I often get lost in my day dreams about what I'll eat next time I am in the city or what lesson I will teach to the kids in their class. With a language barrier comes a barrier to most things..respect from students, work in the village and local friendships. I am being tutored 1-3 times a week and am most definitely making progress but I am guessing it'll be about my 27th month before I feel remotely adequate. 

To never know what is going on carries an immense amount of anxiety. Letting go and going with the flow are ideal and I have become quite skilled with this. But by no means have I mastered this skill. I will wake up some days to a wedding in the village (who knew..not me) or I will show up at school to realize they switched the schedule and I do not have any classes that day...or I have 3 extra classes that day. Sometimes I will show up to a grog drinking session thinking it is a purely social situation come to realize it is a meeting and at the end I am asked "what do you think Melissa" (uhhhh no idea what yall have said in fijian the last hour...).

Stay tuned for the next story on what making friends has been like for me...

Above: This is Joe, another volunteer at my school, from England. On the day the New Zealand Prime Minister we had no idea what was going on and no one accepted our help. So we walked around aimlessly taking pictures and doing important jobs such as blowing up balloons.

Above: One of the 6 large, biting centipedes I have killed in my house

Above: This is New Years Eve. Big parties are the best...because there is no need to understand what is going on. Ya just gotta be up for singing, dancing and drinking. And on New Years..okay with water being splashed on you