An Introvert in an Extrovert's World

Living in Fiji as an introvert...

**disclaimer: these are all things that I LOVE about Fiji but they are things that as an introvert I have found to be challenging. Fijians are SO friendly, welcoming and generous.

After spending 8 days away from my village and on an outer island, Kadavu..I found myself reflecting..

At first, I thought it was because I was American..but that I would adopt and flourish in the culture like I have in any other experience immersing into the unknown. I realize now, after a week away in a new village, a lot of the reason I struggle is because I am more introverted than I was in my younger years. I have learned to find peace with myself and be okay with being alone...actually more than ok....I enjoy being alone, it is how I "recharge". (An extrovert would likely get this same charge by chatting with friends or going to a function.) This is far from who I used to be...afraid of being left out, always wanting to be with friends, serious FOMO disorder.

Here are a few examples of daily experiences that drain me..they each take some of my charge away.

*If in public (which is anywhere others will see you..which is nearly everywhere..grocery store, sidewalk, outside your house, at work, on a boat) and you want to have a snack or buy a soda...you will need to share, with whoever is nearby you, friend, or complete stranger on the bus.

*People will tell you to eat more "kana..kana vakalevu", eat this, eat that, do you want more "dua tale", or they may just put something on your plate. Fijians want you to enjoy their food and they want to take care of you. I love to eat but I can't say I am a fan of being on display while I eat. I had to say no thank you, "vinaka", probably 10 times in one meal this week.

*If you go somewhere alone it assumed you are lonely and do not actually want to be alone. Today I went and sat under a mango tree to catch some breeze, be alone, and just think..relax..try to recharge. I was there less than 2 minutes and an adorable older woman a sweet smile came and sat next to me and wanted to small talk. I know why she was there. She thought I wanted someone to be there. I wish I had the charge to have engaged...but I didn't. It was the 8th day of no days of recharging. I had to excuse myself and walk away. I felt terrible, but I couldn't do it. Small talk isn't something introverts excel at to begin with, on a full charge.

As an introvert, I just want to blend in. I want to eat with everyone and have no special attention given to me. Everyone at the meal will pay attention to exactly what and how much I eat. This week was especially challenging because unlike in my village, where I have my own house, I was literally "on" for 8 days. I learned many new things and enjoyed the new people and exposure. But..it was 8 days with no recharging. I noticed on day 5 is when I had completely run out. Nearly everything anyone did began to annoy me. I needed to have some me time but there was literally no opportunity. Not even when I was sleeping. Fijians often sleep in a large room all together..like a slumber party.

Relief sprinkled with grief

I have been back in Fiji for nearly 3 weeks and it has been a huge relief. Returning was like I had never left. My house is the same. People are the same. Chickens are still clucking. The sun is still hot. But as I reflect, there are a lot of things that have changed.

While I am here, I have to miss the remaining trainings and gatherings of Peace Corps Volunteers. Next week all of the volunteers from my group will be meeting for their MST, Mid Service Training. It is an exciting time they all get together and have proper training on how to begin to think about closing out their service, making the most of their remaining 12 months, etc. I did not get any of this. No guidance besides a pamphlet on how to transition and job search. I didn't get closure to my Peace Corps service. And I will not ever be all together with my fellow volunteers again.

Here's the thing. Ending your service, involuntary, a year early..well it takes away a lot of the unnoticed benefits of Peace Corps Fiji. Most Peace Corps volunteers while expressing support and well wishes on facebook, none have made an effort to connect. Not one has contacted me via phone or invited me to the PC Thanksgiving despite me embarrassingly trying to invite myself, twice. Peace Corps is like a club and when people leave PC, willingly or not, it's like they are no longer allowed into the clubhouse. It's a weird experience and not one I was prepared for. My closest PC friends have moved on from our friendship and are thriving and surviving with their own new relationships and projects.

The school and students were unable to give me any sort of farewell. It is the end of the school year and because I am not PC I am no longer, technically, given permission by the Ministry of Education, to teach. When we had a volunteer from England here for 6 months there was a big party thrown for him to say goodbye. Many awesome gifts and speeches were shared. I was looking forward to celebrating this when it was my time.

All of this is sad but I am completely and utterly happy. I would welcome any of the above things to change. But living in my village and completing my work without Peace Corps is not an easy task but it is a worthwhile and fulfilling one. The village fully recognizes what it means that I came back, on my own. They know what I have sacrificed. I am realizing that the second year of a person's service is often the most rewarding. It is when all of the hard work towards integration, projects, friendships, all comes together and life becomes much more free flowing. Life is more smooth now. I know what to expect each season of weather. I know the dynamics of the village. I finally know most people's names (that was so hard). I am confident in navigating the culture and asking for help.

I wish it could have ended like it was planned. 27 months in service. While others may not notice the 14 months short on my resume, I notice it. It will forever pinch me that Peace Corps Medical, a branch of the company-the people who promote relationships and sustainability, were unable to treat me as an individual and an employee in the end but only as "cancer". I continue to fight my fight with them on discrimination while enjoying my next 3 months here in Dakuivuna.

All our hardwork...still waiting on the reward.

You guys. In January 2016 my youth in the village and I began discussing and planning for their next project for the year. They told me their number one idea was a poultry farm because it was income generating and something new they wanted to try. We worked SO hard to research, plan, get quotations, fundraise, in kind, and discuss. We were surprised by the Fiji Ministry of Youth and Sports who chose us for their small grant opportunity. It was exciting and wonderful. Due to some miscommunication and pressure to turn the grant information in only a week after being notified it was available....we ended up with 89 live day old chicks in 2 boxes on our "doorstep". It was hard to complain..they were free. But we were not prepared yet. We first needed the building materials, feed, lighting, etc that we planned to fundraise for and seek assistance from Peace Corps. We kicked it into high gear and people donated roofing iron, wood, and cement from their own homes. People gave the small change they had so we could purchase feed. People from our village with jobs in the city sponsored us with buying lights and feed. It was a bit stressful but we did it with only losing a few chickens (a miracle seriously). I kicked it into high gear and got the remaining info needed to write our Peace Corps proposal. It took me 4 HOURS to write the final grant proposal in July. I turned it in..phew! Then there was a long delay in the grant review process. We were finally notified on September that it was approved!!!.....the same day I was being sent to America for medical. But no worries, I would be back in two weeks, right when the money would be cleared. WRONG. Yet another obstacle. Because I was "medically separated" from the Peace Corps I no longer could accept the (finally) fully funded grant (over $3000USD). This amount is less now due to the youth being forced to in kind and get creative the last 4 months.

While I am going back to Fiji and the village and youth have only expressed well wishes for my health...it is not fair for them. Or me. We put in SO much work. You have no idea. And so I decided to raise money. I need a little bit to help me get back there (no more Peace Corps stipend). And then I want to be able to show up with some of that expected financial support. The village fed me often, kept me safe, gave me a house and most importantly have become my family. I can follow through on this promise to them. But..I need your help.

Please consider donating. I will post updates on my blog of how the project is going. Here are some pictures from the the last 4 months.

****having issues with the link...will be fixed shortly..but for now please copy and paste it into your browser.

https://www.gofundme.com/missy-back-to-fiji-and-dakuivuna-2uxmtysk?ssid=778045777&pos=1

Warai Kila

October is a big month in Fiji.
... I should be hosting  a volunteer from the new group in my village for 5 days. I should be getting ready to celebrate my village's anniversary, Dakuivuna Day. I should be saying my goodbyes to the group of volunteers from the year before me.  I should be getting ready to celebrate Fiji's Independence Day.

I know everything will be okay. It will. But right now, it sure is difficult to understand.

All down hill

On August 17th (3 days before my birthday) I went to Suva and had an ultrasound done. I had been having some minor issues with my menstrual cycle and so the gynecologist wanted to have a ultrasound done just to rule out something like a benign polyp. My uterus scan was clear and those issues I was having have since self-resolved. However, that day the lab technician found a mass inside of my bladder. The next week I saw a Urologist and had a repeat scan. Mass was still there. And so Peace Corps Medical wanted to send me overseas. After confusing reasoning for wanting to send me to New Zealand, and then Thailand, Peace Corps finally said to go home. No one communicated anything to me except that I was going. But okay, so I go. I meet with a urologist in Minnesota who in my first visit seeing him does a simple and fast look inside of my bladder through a cystoscopy. It took less than 2 minutes and we were in his office and he confirmed the scan findings. We scheduled surgery and the following week I had surgery, removal and biopsy of the tumor.  Pathology confirmed it was low grade, non invasive bladder cancer.

Fun Fact: 9 out of 10 people in the United States with bladder cancer are over the age of 55. And 75% of those people are men.

It was successfully, fully removed and no other treatment such as chemotherapy would be necessary. There is a chance of reoccurance but with check ups would be simple and easy to remove once again. The doctor wrote in his notes for me to have a cystoscopy done in 3-6months. Again, the cystoscopy was that very simple and fast peek inside of my bladder while I was awake and in his office. So that means in my year of service remaining in Fiji, I would need ONE simple, fast check up that is very routine for a Urology Specialist...who I have already met and seen in Fiji. He is familiar with what he would be looking for in reoccurance as it it likely to come back the same way it did the first time, if it comes back.

Peace Corps has said they will not let me return. At first they hardly gave any information as to why this decision was made saying, "we are more comfortable with you having care in America." Great, awesome Peace Corps. But I don't need any form of care until 6 months from now so why am I not going back for a minimum of 6 months? In 6 months I could have a cystoscopy in Fiji with the Urologist I have met, my Urologist in Minnesota is comfortable with and I am comfortable with. It is his speciality and this is again a routine, simple,  non invasive check. It would be like a gynecologist giving a female a pap smear...IF at that check up something was found I would completely understand Peace Corps separating me from my service at that time. Shoot, they could even send me home FOR the cystoscopy at 6 months and I would accept a medical separation at that time..even though I the test could come back clear. Because what does 6 more months in country mean? It means I can assist my youth in finishing their poultry farm project we started in July. The same project in which I JUST had thousands of dollars deposited into my account from my approved Peace Corps grant that me and my youth group spent months preparing. I could prepare my community , village, counterparts, teachers, coworkers, students, boyfriend and friend for my departure. I could attend a scheduled Let Girls Learn Conference and bring my counterpart, building up their sustainability in Family Life Educatiom-our purpose in Fiji. I could attend the mid service conference for Peace Corps Volunteers. I could search for a job..better preparing myself mentally, physically, financially and with insurance...this would make the most sense for my health. I could say goodbyes and all parties involved could have closure.

Cancer is a scary word. But Between now and 6 months from now that's all it is..a word.. I do not need any care. 6 months is a long time in the world of Peace Corps. So why do they want to make the extreme, conservative, unfair decision to kick me out of the Peace Corps RIGHT NOW? I still am not clear on that.

P

Dua Tale

In Pre Service Training our wonderful Director of Programing (Warren Passin) told us our 27 months of service would look something like a roller coaster. The highs would be high and the lows would be low. This couldn't be more true. The physcial, mental, emotional, spiritual, and social experiences have been mountains and valleys and everything in between.

The last year has been a roller coaster (side note: Fijians actually don't know what a roller coaster is) for Fiji as a country. History was made. Cyclone season was very busy with heavy rain, strong winds, false and misleading weather warnings and of course Winston-the strongest cyclone in the world to ever hit land.

That didn't stop Fijians from doing what they do best. Just two weeks after Cyclone Winston the Fiji Rugby 7s team "Flying Fijians" won the Las Vegas 7s tournament. They went on to win the 2016 World Rugby Sevens Series, winning in Dubai, Hong Kong and Las Vegas ending with a total of 181 points ahead of South Africa and New Zealand. They then beautifully executed a win in the 2016 Olympics bringing home the gold-Fiji's first ever medal. 

There is nothing that can compare to what Rubgy 7s is like in Fiji. When we say the nation stops, we mean it. When has America ever declared a public holiday because the Patriots won the super bowl? People in America hardly even follow USA sports, they stay close to their hometown teams. The "Flying Fijians" bring an entire nation together and not just when they win. Fijians cheer the same weather they are winning or losing. They are the truest, most loyal and honorable fans that exist.

Hightlights of Fiji's win of the Las Vegas 7s Tournament right after Winston

This year Fiji was rewarded for that unmatchable loyalty. The rebuilding would have continued with or without but now it's done with a little bit bigger smile and an even warmer heart.

And so my one year mark in Fiji fast approaches, shortly after I turn 27 years old. One of my lowest lows has quickly turned into the highest of highs. Thank you Fiji. Vinaka vakalevu Viti. Forgive me for my errors and let's continue to rise up, together.

A Day in the Life

Blog Challenge week 3 of 10!

2-3 days a week I go to the school to teach Family Life Education (Lifeskills, Reproductive and Family Health, etc). On these days I load up with the 20 some kids from my village into a carrier (back of a truck with a tarp over it) and we go 2.5km to Naiyala High School. The school day typically is from 8am to 4pm.

No two days are the same, but here's a snap shot of a day in the village.

6:30am - I typically wake up at 630am when the live chicken alarm goes off and my cat comes home from wandering around the village, meowing for some food and love.

7:30am - I wash any dishes left from the day before and do laundry (hand wash and hang on the line to dry) if it's a sunny day.

8:30am - I walk over to the neighbor's  (pink house) to see if anything is happening in the village that day. If no function (funeral, workshops, wedding, village clean up, visitors, etc) I continue on with the day.

Socializing outside the pink house

9:00am - I have some tea/coffee/breakfast..sometimes at the pink house, sometimes back at my house. About once a week I go to town (15 minutes away by bus) at this time to get groceries (ramen noodles, lentils, in-season veggies from the market, onion, potato, egg).

Korovou Market

10:00am - I clean and organize the house, sweeping with my sasa broom made from dried coconut leaves.

Waisea using the sasa broom

11:00am - I start to prepare lunch. Relax a bit.

11:30am - I  do any preparation for my FLE classes, or do my tutoring (to learn Fijian) homework or write a blog post.

12:30pm - Eat lunch.

1:00 - Take my bath. Right now (July) is winter in Fiji. It's only 60-70°F but you'd be surprised how cold that feels after the summer here. A cold bath outside (thats what they call a shower) is painful in the winter. A quick dump, soap and run.

2:00pm - walk around, usually ending up at the pink house again, for afternoon tea/snack.

4:30pm - Prepare dinner. Take my laundry off the line.

5:00pm - Relax, watch tv on my phone or computer. Do more work..maybe research/emails/planning for the village youth projects and workshops.

6:30pm - Eat dinner.

7:30pm - Fijian tutoring 2 days a week. If no tutoring and don't need to teach the next day I may go and find some place to drink grog/socialize. In Fiji you aren't invited to things. If you want to go, you go. So if I hear people drinking I say "bogi" (night) wait for their quick reply back "bogi"! and I join.

Grog has many formal purposes but this is a picture of a casual hangout, drinking and playing cards

10:00pm - Watch more tv or browse around on the internets if I have data (wifi prepaid for the phone). Or color in my adult coloring books. Or listen to my audio books.

11/12pm - Bed time. Tuck in the mosquito net, close the windows (windows in Fiji only close about 3/4 of the way), grab my flashlight in cases of getting up in the night and Moce (sleep). Less waking up in the night now that I have Zazu the Cat to fight off the rodents.

Noqu Vale (My Home)

Enjoy this video of my little yellow house in Fiji! My house is the old medical dispensary. I love it! Any questions? Go to my Question Box page and ask!

 This video was taken my first month at site. I will be posting another video to show how my home has changed over the last 9 months. Can you guess how it has changed?


This was a part of Blogging Abroad Blog Challenge, Week #2

Talanoa: Make New Friends...but Keep the Old, LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa

Increasingly over my life I have become more of an internal person, especially in new situations. I love to socialize and am definitely not afraid to speak up, but this is different while in another culture. I have to question my instincts and learn the new norms of friendship. "Your relationships with host nationals, then, as well as theirs with you, are necessarily shaky in the beginning, more cultural than personal" (A Few Minor Adjustments, 1997, p.41). Small talk is not my thing and I have never been a natural at networking. Those who are will flourish and quickly make friends here in Fiji as storytelling is at the center of it all. But for those of us more internal folks it is a bit more of a challenge. Most of my conversations with people in my village revolve around the weather, my projects, if I am going to stay in Fiji, and if I know Perry Baker-the talented USA Rugby player. It is a rare occasion that my conversations have gone much deeper than this. Fijians love to talk religion and politics but this is something I generally try to avoid discussing as much as I would love to...but better safe than to get myself into a sticky, heated situation 7,000 miles from home.

 "In your own culture you instinctively know what behavior is culturally appropriate or normal in a given situation, and you can thus immediately attribute variations to the individual; you start to see individuals almost at once. Overseas, until you know the norms, you can never be sure where the culture stops and (insert name of person) begins" (A Few Minor Adjustments, 1997, p. 41). This is especially true with religion in Fiji. It is difficult to tell what a person believes because of the Bible and what it is they as an individual believe. Women and men, generally, share different roles here in Fiji than we are accustomed to in America. They are very traditional in the sense that women cook and clean and men go to the farm...although women do that too. But even more so in Fiji, men eat first, sit up front (men and women do not sit together),  and in some homes it is seen as once a couple is married the man 'owns' the woman in which they use the bible as justification with this belief. This directly affects the increased domestic abuse, cheating and disconnection that takes place within men/women relationships. These beliefs and practices are not followed in every home or community but they are common. And so with the various differences between America and Fiji in regards to relationships it makes it difficult sometimes to know what a person truly values, believes..what makes them tick and what is their culture and all they have ever known. Most women here do not feel inferior. So does it mean they are weak if their husband eats before them? No. It means it's what they know. As an outsider I first need to understand and recognize these norms before I am able to begin to forge meaningful relationships that go beyond getting to know the culture.

This month I am dedicating my efforts to stepping outside of my comfort zone and forcing myself into more situations where an opportunity lies to get to know people further, deeper, beyond knowing them as a Fijian and getting to know them as an individual. It is a slow and uncomfortable process but here it goes...

Above: My bestie, Koini. Nice to have someone on the same level with me language-wise. She also loves to color, play with animals and sing loudly. 

Above: My bestie, Lepani. I tell him anything and everything...which I think he often regrets. 

Talanoa: The Hardships Aren't Always Dramatic

Values and assumptions are a daily battle for me in the Peace Corps. When things I believe strongly in or against such as Domestic Abuse, Basic Education as a priority, Kindness for animals are challenged it is difficult to know the balance of "this is another culture and that is okay", and "this is why I am here..to share my education, experiences and knowledge." Because after all we only do better when we know better..But with every value I have to say to myself "is my way better?" Such as the concept of 'kerekere' (Fijians amazing culture of sharing..there will be a post talking about this more in the future), parenting styles and medicine.

"The real sacrifice you make in the Peace Corps is in the form of tremendous daily and hourly effort required to speak in another language and be effective in another culture, the constant struggle to be self-aware and sensitive. You don't give up one-hour dry cleaning; you give up being relaxed" (A Few Minor Adjustments, 1997, p.29)

While I certainly never used dry cleaning in the US, the idea is right on. Yes, mice, rats and centipedes are battled daily. Yes, my shower is freezing cold, always. Yes, when it rains hard water drips on my head as I sleep. Yes, I hand wash any and everything that needs washing. No, I do not have a fridge. No, I do not have a TV. No, I do not have a computer or unlimited internet. No, I do not have Air Con. But these are the easy adjustments. These are the adjustments we envision when we sign up for the Peace Corps.

Language is a barrier that is so real. Most everyone is knowledgeable in English and I am learning more Fijian every day but the reality is that unless someone needs something from me they aren't going to speak English. In meetings and social situations Fijian is spoken. While I can pick up words and attempt to piece them together, I've learned the hard way it is best to just ask someone to translate afterwards.

...in the first village youth meeting I attended I listened attentively. I heard the words such as "toa" (chicken), Break-Up Party (end of the year party) and Pacific Harbour (resort strip by the beach) and so I put together we were going to take a trip to the beach and have chicken dinner to celebrate! Great! How fun! So excited! I asked someone after the meeting what all was discussed and I was told ONE youth was going to Pacific Harbour for an art camp. There was a party next month in the village. And if you paid $10 for a raffle ticket you might be able to win a live chicken....

It is difficult to be an active participant in any meeting or to engage in the conversation and jokes in social situations when Fijian is being spoken. I can't even attend church and have a clue so I day dream and sing songs.

In social situations, I laugh when they laugh (probably about me sometimes) and I often get lost in my day dreams about what I'll eat next time I am in the city or what lesson I will teach to the kids in their class. With a language barrier comes a barrier to most things..respect from students, work in the village and local friendships. I am being tutored 1-3 times a week and am most definitely making progress but I am guessing it'll be about my 27th month before I feel remotely adequate. 

To never know what is going on carries an immense amount of anxiety. Letting go and going with the flow are ideal and I have become quite skilled with this. But by no means have I mastered this skill. I will wake up some days to a wedding in the village (who knew..not me) or I will show up at school to realize they switched the schedule and I do not have any classes that day...or I have 3 extra classes that day. Sometimes I will show up to a grog drinking session thinking it is a purely social situation come to realize it is a meeting and at the end I am asked "what do you think Melissa" (uhhhh no idea what yall have said in fijian the last hour...).

Stay tuned for the next story on what making friends has been like for me...

Above: This is Joe, another volunteer at my school, from England. On the day the New Zealand Prime Minister we had no idea what was going on and no one accepted our help. So we walked around aimlessly taking pictures and doing important jobs such as blowing up balloons.

Above: One of the 6 large, biting centipedes I have killed in my house

Above: This is New Years Eve. Big parties are the best...because there is no need to understand what is going on. Ya just gotta be up for singing, dancing and drinking. And on New Years..okay with water being splashed on you

Talanoa: Culture Shock

It is November 9th, 2015. I have now left the host village and been dropped with my two suitcases, foam bed and gas stove to my new home of Dakuivuna Village. By dropped, I mean quite literally, dropped off and left in my empty single room house. My amazing, supportive and loving host mom, Matilita, followed me to my new village and stayed with me for a few hours helping me to clean, organize and meet my neighbors.

Up until November, my adjustment into Fiji was what I expected...new and different but manageable and enjoyable. I believe adjustment into a new culture inevitably begins with culture shock. The simple definition of Culture Shock, from Merriam-Webster Dictionary is: "a feeling of confusion, doubt, or nervousness caused by being in a place (such as a foreign country) that is very different from what you are used to". For me, the brunt of this shock took place my first two months in my new village. Culture shock is no new feeling to me. I have lived in another country before, and I have lived in parts of the United States so different from what I knew that I experienced culture shock there as well. I am good at observing other cultures in order to learn how to predict their behavior-which is the first part of adjustment. In the host village and then in my new village, I said "yes" to any and everything to allow me to observe, identify and predict host country behavior. However, what I hadn't prepared for was the high expectations of my new home. They weren't paid for me to come. They had to provide me with housing at their own expense. They weren't told I would be making many mistakes. They were told I had been in training for the last two months learning the language and culture. They weren't provided a training on what Peace Corps is or what (United States) Americans are like. They were told all of the wonderful possibilities and opportunities I would be bringing to their community. I quickly became overwhelmed by these new expectations. I could predict the behavior, but I was having a hard time accepting this behavior.

3 Parts of Adjustment, according to A Few Minor Adjustments:

• Predicting host country behavior
• Accepting host country behavior
• Changing your own behavior 

And so my adjustment journey was interrupted for further discovery at acceptance. This was a step that was going to take some time. I first needed to identify what I was bringing with me...the "baggage" I was bringing from my own culture. 

Steps to Cultural Understanding and Acceptance, according to A Few Minor Adjustments:
1. An awareness of your own cultural assumptions and values
2. Acceptance of the reality of your own cultural conditioning
3. Acceptance of the reality of the cultural conditioning of others

I thought this would be easy. I see myself as a painfully self-aware person. I have been blessed with many years filled with many choices followed by a lot of reflection and self-discovery. But the reality is "...people who live in a particular culture, who manifest it in their everyday actions are the least likely to be aware of it. This is because you express your culture naturally, unconsciously, without thinking about it" (A Few Minor Adjustments, 1997, p. 37). The village in Fiji has many rules and beliefs that (United States) Americans break and go against naturally almost instinctively. In the village women cannot wear pants (or shorts), you cannot wear hats or sunglasses, you must say "bogi" before entering a home at night, you must not sweep or do laundry at night, if someone asks for one you give them five, if someone borrows something it will not be returned, and the list is endless. Most of these rules and beliefs are easy to accept and adopt. But there are some that go against everything (United States) American. Sometimes, it is "not until you leave your own country that you start to examine or articulate these values and assumptions" (A Few Minor Adjustments, 1997, p. 37).

So what did I discover? What are the (United States) American values and assumptions that I didn't even know I held?

Please stay tuned for the next chapter.

Above: My little yellow house. Tin roof, concrete walls and floor

Above: My host mom, Matilita (in the green/brown) and my new neighbors helping me set up my mosquito net 

Above: Bush training. Weeding at a neighbor's farm with my machete

Talanoa: Back to the Beginning

Today, I want to tell you a story. In Fiji story telling (Talanoa) is an important part of the culture. It is how information is passed from one generation to the next. What does it take to integrate into a community so different from what you have ever known?

Let's go back to the beginning...

Our first two months in Fiji we took part in our pre-service training (PST). In Fiji this includes living with a host family and spending Monday through Friday 8-5 with other volunteers learning about the work we are to do in Fiji (youth development), language development, and being taught about the vibrant, friendly Fijian culture. To learn more about my experiences in PST please Click Here. Many volunteers will say that PST was one of the most challenging things they have done in their service, but I have a different opinion of PST. I think we were blessed with low expectations and unconditional love...

Our host families were warned that we would be kind of boring from time to time. They were paid a fair sum to look after us. They were trained on what people from the United States are like-that we value privacy (something unknown in the Fijian culture). Our host families were instructed that we would be making many mistakes but these would be unintentional not meaning any sign of disrespect, and to please help us understand the "tabu" (not allowed-rules) of the village. A handbook written for volunteers titled A Few Minor Adjustments says it well, "...people know you're on a learning curve and will forgive you and make allowances for you." Needless to say, the host village held very low expectations for us. They were virtually told we were going to break all the rules. If we said something in Fijian they nearly bounced off the walls. If we scraped a coconut they had a smile a mile long. If we taught classes to their youth they were so ever grateful and made us tea. When we left the village they through an all night party for us.


So what happened next? What happened when we left the comfort and unconditional environment of our host villages and moved out on our own?

Please stay tuned for the next chapter. You can get posts sent to you by email simply by entering your email in the box in the upper right corner of this page. If you asked any questions in my last post please find my answers in The Question Box.

Above: One of the besties..my mentor-Laite-from my host village

Above: That time my host mom asked me to try a dress on (for the entire extended family waiting in the living area) and it got stuck...

Above: Going away buffet from host village

Above: Host mom teaching me how to scrape that coconut!

Fiji Times

Where do I even start. I am sorry it has been so long. It is really a good thing because I am finding myself much more occupied and less bored with time. Also, my computer keeps breaking and I hate typing on my phone. February flew by so incredibly fast. On February 15th Nina (my cousin) arrived in Fiji. It was a wonderful visit. We went to the beach, sand dunes, a small island, saw a bit of town life and spent a couple days in the village as well. 

Reasons Nina was a great visitor:

1. She was flexible when Fiji would happen. This was the week leading up to cyclone Winston and so we were always on our toes.

2. She asked the locals a lot of questions. They love having someone genuinly interested in their world!

3. She told stories. "talanoa" means to tell stories and it is what Fijians spend a lot of time doing-it's great. 

4. She brought them "American" lollipops aka Tootsiepops. It is important to have tasty chasers during grog sessions. They lovedddd the tootsiepops. 

5. She was patient in living the village life (eating other food, showering in cold water, taking buses everywhere, etc)

Now- everyone come to Fiji and be like Nina. 

In school I have a "question box" where students are encouraged to anonymously (or not) submit questions about anything that they would like me to answer. Fijian students are usually discouraged from speaking up or asking many questions and so my hope (and success) is to have them feel more comfortable in asking the questions I know they have about Family Life Education (sex, nutrition, lifeskills, feelings, hormones, puberty, relationships, college, gender identity, etc). I am doing the same with my blog. I have encouraged readers to submit questions in the comments section anonymously or not ;-} that I will try and answer. Here are some of the questions so far....

How many different Fijian dresses do you have?

I would say I have around 5 Fijian dresses and am always looking for more. I buy about 3 meters of the material and then pay someone in town or in the village to sew it for me. There is no such thing as patterns here so I just tell them what 'style' I want and hope it looks nice. My favorite style is butterfly-nice and cool and comfortable compared to the other styles.

What did you bring that you never need/use?

Honestly there isn't much I brought that hasn't been put to use. Almost everything I would want or need (besides a lot of processed food/cheese/some veggies, etc) can be found in Fiji but it is expensive (especially on a volunteer budget) or difficult to get (in the city). I wish I didn't bring extra batteries. They are easy to find and cheap. And most of the ones I brought dont work now anyways due to humidity, etc.

How is the gardening going?

It started off wonderfully. I planted 24 cucumbers and they were growing rapidly. They should take about 2-3 months in Fiji. However, at about week 7 of growing they were murdered when a neighboring garden full of rootcrops (cassava) was sprayed for bugs and the wind blew it over to my cukes :(. I still have tomato, zucchini, long bean, chives, basil and carrots I plan to plant when all this rain stops. 

What is you favorite type of fish?

I don't know what types I am eating. I can say tin fish is not my favorite.

Why do you think Fijians ask if my parents are dead/alive?

I think they ask this because life expectancy in Fiji is very short. I don't have the stats on hand but I would say to pass at 60 is not abnormal here, mainly to non-communicable diseases.

How often do you get to see other Peace Corps Volunteers?

I am lucky and in a position to see other volunteers really whenever I would like. One of my good friends lives in my town (15 minute bus ride away) and the main city (Suva) is less than 2 hours bus ride from me. I probably see someone every 2 weeks on average. 

How fluent in Fijian are you?

Ha. Hardly. It is really hard for me to learn another language...or more so speak it. It is definitely about my confidence. About a month ago I started with more formal tutoring lessons though and so that has helped. I learn best by visually seeing words. 

What is something Missy in the US wouldn't recognize about Missy in Fiji?

Hmm. Probably my coping ability to sleep with rats. I will have to think more on this one. Good question.

Okay so those are the questions I had. Please submit more! 

I feel like I have talked Cyclone Winston to death. But I will say a little bit. During the cyclone I was evacuated to one of the large cities (Nadi). It was nice to be looked after by the Peace Corps but at the same time I felt guilty and privileged. To have the ability to be evacuated. To have the ability to know ahead of time how bad the cyclone was going to be (radio, phone, internet access). To have the ability to leave my home because I am single, healthy and financially capable. To have the ability to be in a well built structure with plenty of food, friends, and a generator. Privilege is a tricky thing. It is so easy to be taken advantage of but it is so important to recognize that I was one of very few in Fiji (and in many ways in the world as a white middle class woman) who had this privilege. It was the longest 36 hours of my life before I made any contact with my village after Winston  left and it was a very short conversation to hear if everyone was safe and alive. It would be another 8 days before I spoke with anyone again as they had lost phone service and power. I cried that day. I had been somewhat numb before that, but on that day to just be able to hear someone's voice was a wonderful feeling of relief coupled with grief and guilt. "When are you coming back" I was asked...having to explain that I couldn't go back until it was deemed safe, for me. 

Okay, that is all for now. I have a lot more to say but I will look for your questions on what you want to hear. 

The contents of this Web Site are mine personally and do not reflect any position of the U.S. Government or the Peace Corps.

Above: Me with the Minister of Education when he came for an unexpected visit to the school after Winston.

Above: Me and one of the teachers. This is my favorite butterfly dress.

Above: Nina and Lepani at our waterfall

Me and Nina on a boat on our way to a small island

Cheers to 2016

Any questions you have, please post and I will answer in my next post! 

Fun fact: Coconut oil is my most frequently bought item that has now become my lotion, hair styler and i get to cook with it! No one else cooks withit here though, so they think am a weirdo.

I started teaching at the secondary (high) school this week. I will be teaching Family Life Education to years 11, 12 and 13. Some of my classes may have up to 50 students in them. Phew! Wish me luck! The year 13 students have a classroom pilot program that allows access to a computer and projector. I look forward ro being able to use that some and not always using the chalk board. The kids are used to being lectured here in Fiji so it is different for them to be asked to participate in other ways. But they are excited to learn and that is all I need to be excited to teach! I am also hopeful in getting soccer going at the school. Right now options for sports are rugby, netball, track and volleyball.

Projects my village hopes to accomplish:
**A primary (elementary) school library. They hope to build this in the village  (school is across the street) though to allow a broader access for villagers as well and so when students are on breaks from school they can still use it. They envision it eventually having a couple of computers with internet access.
**A poultry farm. I am a big fan of the income generating projects! This project takes much less to start up than most of the other projects as well.
**A church for the secondary (high) school. There are many students and teachers who board at the school. They have used a classroom for church and prayer services in the past but have never had a church of their own. It would be a Methodist Church.
**The village itself wants to expand their church. Not everyone can fit inside.
**A project about sewage has been mentioned..don't know many details on it.
**There are 4 clans in my village. One of the clans wants help advancing their farming. They have to walk 1 or 2 hours to their farming land and so they were hoping for something such as a carrier (large truck) to aid in their farming efforts.

My priorities are the first three projects listed. They are organized by the youth (ages 15-35) of the village. The pressure of projects is still there but I have a few people in my corner now who help me to explain my role and how Peace Corps does projects ro the villagers who still struggle in understanding. They have also helped give me the confidence to be more direct and honest and say "I don't know"...when in fact I don't know. I love that my village is so motivated and organized, but man oh man it is often overwhelming that they have such high expectations of me. I feel like I am sometimes a disappointment to them in that they were hoping and thinking someone would come and fully fund their projects and here I am ready to teach and practically an amateur at grant writing. At the end of my two years I should be able to put grant writing on my resume for sure though!

My updated care package list:

*Clif Z Bars (especially iced oatmeal cookie flavor)
*Coloring books-for kids or adults
*Quart (bigger sized) ziploc bags
*Tootsie Pops
*Chocolate
*Annie's Mac and Cheese (put in ziploc)
*Construction Paper
*Deck of Cards
*Any little toys, activities for little kids, old children's books, chalk, bubbles, etc. The kids in the village have zero toys. If I see one more kid play with a knife..
*Anything random. When it comes to food I miss just about everything.

Melissa Martin, PCV
Naiyala High School
P.O. Box 166
Korovou Town, Fiji Islands

The contents of this Web Site are mine personally and do not reflect any position of the U.S. Government or the Peace Corps.